The 5-year-old brain

I recently had an entertaining phone conversation with my 5-year old nephew who has the country drawl of weathered 80-year-old Kentucky farmer. Here's the gist of it:

--Hi Aunt Leeesie!
Hiiii! What have you been doing with Grandma?!
--Weuhlll, we went to the fair and saw lots of pigs! We saw Hunter's pig! It was big and fat. But Grandma says they're gonna kill those pigs. I thaink that's a big, fat lie.

Oh yeah, Grandma doesn't know what she's talking about...

--Hey, we saw someone got dead on fox news!
Oh geez, is Grandma making you watch Fox news again? Tell her you want to watch some cartoons.

--Are you moving?
Yeah, I'm moving to a different apartment.
--What's a Partmnt?
It's like a little house.
--Oh. Well I hope we can still find that little house, cause we were maybe gonna come see you.

--Hey, can I speaayk to Jason?
No, he's not here right now. He's at his job. Have you been having fun swimming in the pool?

--Yeah. Oh, we saw an elephant in the neighbor's yard!! It sprayed Grandma into the raawcks.
Wow. I hope Grandma's ok....

The Giant

I had a giant sighting today. The giant man who works in the hospital walked past my coworkers and I as we passed through the tunnel at lunch. It was very exciting since you never know when you'll see the giant. It's been at least two weeks since I've seen him last. I have noticed in the past few sightings that the giant has a rather small head. Not to a freakish level, unlike his overall size, just a bit noticeable. Kind of reminds me of those 'Don't be a pinhead' posters by Scholastic that show giant basketball players with teeny heads due to the fact they haven't been studying.

The first time I saw the giant was on the elevator. There was an almost uncomfortable silence as he stepped on. I noticed the size of his hands and shuddered in horror to think of the size of his other extremities. Glances of awe were exchanged between myself and an older gentleman who stood on the other side of him. We made small talk about the giant after he'd stepped off the elevator.
"Wow."
"Yeah, I think that's the largest human being I've seen in my entire life."
"Me too."
"Well... have a nice day."
"You too."

I wondered today if seeing a midget character sporadically around the hospital would be more exciting than the giant. I can't decide.