The 5-year-old brain

I recently had an entertaining phone conversation with my 5-year old nephew who has the country drawl of weathered 80-year-old Kentucky farmer. Here's the gist of it:

--Hi Aunt Leeesie!
Hiiii! What have you been doing with Grandma?!
--Weuhlll, we went to the fair and saw lots of pigs! We saw Hunter's pig! It was big and fat. But Grandma says they're gonna kill those pigs. I thaink that's a big, fat lie.

Oh yeah, Grandma doesn't know what she's talking about...

--Hey, we saw someone got dead on fox news!
Oh geez, is Grandma making you watch Fox news again? Tell her you want to watch some cartoons.

--Are you moving?
Yeah, I'm moving to a different apartment.
--What's a Partmnt?
It's like a little house.
--Oh. Well I hope we can still find that little house, cause we were maybe gonna come see you.

--Hey, can I speaayk to Jason?
No, he's not here right now. He's at his job. Have you been having fun swimming in the pool?

--Yeah. Oh, we saw an elephant in the neighbor's yard!! It sprayed Grandma into the raawcks.
Wow. I hope Grandma's ok....